Yo, its been a while since I’ve blogged anything, and to be honest I still don’t really know what I’m supposed to be writing in a blog specifically. Do I just write about my life?
Something totally caught me by surprise and that was last week, I made it super intentional to go see my sister! When you first read this it probably doesn’t sound that significant. I mean big deal right, some guy got to see his sister.
For me it was a pivotal moment in my life… only because I have 3 half siblings, and I’m not close to any of them. My biological father, for the sake of keeping things a bit on the private side we’ll name him Charles. Charles, wasn’t very present in my life as a child growing up. Anyway he was also a very promiscuous man, so he had me a child out of wedlock, and then married another woman when things fell apart between Charles and my mother, and had two children. Then for whatever reason he ended up leaving that woman and married another woman and had my currently 10 year old sister! Siri :D. (Thats not her actual name but it sounds similar and is spelled similar).
So a lot of what I do nowadays, Siri has become my driving “why”. Because I can see that she might be going through some similar pains of what I went through as a child. Kind of, hers is a bit different, but I refuse to let her go through life without a present role model. I feel like I don’t have any excuses not to be present, so I’ve started to develop a relationship with her mother. Its actually pretty interesting to me to hear all the troubles she has with Charles.
Charles has called me drunk before and told me about how he wanted me to take over his company (which is probably a sinking ship) so that he can ditch his family and leave! Anyway and then I get to hear her side (Siri’s Mother) of the story too especially when I made the intentional effort to go see my sister Siri and create a door to a relationship that wasn’t previously there.
I’ll tell you what though, listening with an emphatic ear is a super important skill. To listen without judgement and without the sense of needing to respond or give your own opinion really allows a person to connect with another person on a deeper level!
So, I don’t know if it was God… but… (it was God) when I decided I would make an effort to develop a deeper relationship with my 10 year old little sister Siri, I showed up to Charles’ mechanic shop with very little notice (I literally called Charles and said I was coming the next day to drop off gifts for my little sister, no ifs ands or buts lol), Siri’s mother Connie was there at the shop~!! which was the exact person that I wanted to contact! because I knew that if I were to be able to develop a deeper relationship with Siri I would have to first develop a relationship with her mother Connie!
Connie was telling me some heart breaking stuff about Charles. Though some of it I listen to with a grain of salt so to speak. Not that I don’t trust Connie, its just when jaded adults who’ve been in a toxic relationship with each other and talk shit to each other all the time, I feel like there’s so much pent up resentment and unspoken rage that sometimes the truth gets bent a little bit. I’ve learned over the years that people tend to over exaggerate things to get you on their side, or to get you to show contempt towards the person they are in qualms with.
Also understanding human psychology a bit more grants you a certain type of analytical power, you can kind of see peoples motives and get into their brains. what a trip, I understand the saying “Ignorance is Bliss” sometimes. Before when your not as aware you can just let a lot of the over analyzing just go right over your head. Which kind of offered a kind of you know, freedom I guess you could say, I’m probably describing it wrong but you know what I mean? A bit of solace almost ?
Nowadays I get in my head a lot with people that I meet and the people that I try to build relationships or rebuild relationships with. Anyway I’m going on the tangent. Let me digress and finish my experience with Siri.
So I bought a gift card for my sister Siri and I met with Connie at Charles’ mechanic shop, which at first she was kind of hesitant to let me give Siri gifts I think because she was saying like, Siri doesn’t need gifts she doesn’t know how to spend money and this, that, and the other. But I insisted, and remained persistent, but not in a pushy kind of way. Anyway on the ride to the mall she poured out all her feelings towards Charles lol. So in a sense I was able to play therapist for about 2 hours. BUT it was cool though and I enjoyed it very much because I was able to be an outlet for her. AND plus I was able to develop a relationship with Connie and Siri all in the span of a couple hours.
Connie and I went to go pick little Siri up at school and we went to the mall. Siri was closed off at first to me by giving me real short and curt answers to the questions I asked her. Usually non verbal answers by shrugging her shoulders or nodding and shaking her head. When we got to the mall, I found out something super magical about Siri. SHE LOVES TO READ BOOKS. MY MIND IS BLOWN.
Literally the day before this I was calling all the family members on Charles side of the family asking them if they knew anything about Siri, like her shoe size or favorite colors and things of that sort and no one really knew anything. I called my half sibling Preston, who had spent some time with little Siri, and I asked him if I should get Siri some books and he said well kids don’t typically read books anymore. LOL. So I didn’t get her any books.
BUT we ended up at a used book store in the mall! It was one of the first shops we came across upon entering the mall. And so we ended up going in there and she didn’t really end up finding any books that she liked, but I talked to the book store clerk and found some books for the both of us. Anyway so then we went to Zumiez and I presented her the 50$ gift card and ended up spending another 48$ on top of it, for a backpack, a champion hat, some champion socks, and I think a shirt? or something? I forgot.
So something magical happened when we were driving back to Charles’ shop after the mall. This was it, the pivotal moment everything I’ve been working for up until this moment really solidified my REASON for living at the moment.
We got back to Charles’ shop and Connie started to make plans with Charles for dinner, that maybe we all could go together. Well Charles said that he’s not gonna be done for another hour and a half or so at the shop and said we’d go around 6:30. So Connie turned to me and told me I could take Siri to Farmer’s Boys and get something to hold us over!
So… this was huge to me… I got to have some 1 on 1 time with Siri, and wow… we went to the Farmer’s boys and I got her some fries and myself a sandwich. I asked her if she wanted to take it back to the shop to eat, and she said “I don’t want to go back to the shop.” Apparently there’s some kind of negative feelings towards Charles shop.
OK so this is where the most magical moment in 2019 happened for me. Siri exploded into conversation with me! THIS WAS SUCH A HUGE THING FOR ME. I loved every moment of this half hour conversation or however long it was, to me it was kinda short. But she showed a lot of curiosity about me, and she was asking all kinds of questions and we had such a healthy conversation! I was so stoked, I went home that day absolutely glowing man like it was a private victory for me.
I get to have this now, and it’s because I’m steadily progressing on becoming a better person consistently. Yeah anyway I thought I would just share this small triumph in my world.

